When I became pregnant with Emerson I knew I was overweight (obviously) but I wasn't about to stress needlessly over how much weight I was gaining. In the first trimester I didn't have gut retching morning sickness but a general feeling of constant motion sickness. I ended up losing about 5lbs. Into the second trimester we were in the summer with lots of fresh food and I did pretty well until, well until I didn't. I'm not really sure where the turn was but I remember going into my monthly OB visit sometime after July I suppose and finding out I had gained 9lbs in one month. We had gone to the beach with Matt's family and I ate almost all fried food so I chalked it up to that. Until the next month when I gained 10lbs. Somewhere along the way I used the pregnancy as the get of of jail free card.
For the first time in my life I was thrilled to have a belly. I wanted to show it off. That in and of itself is amazingly powerful. But then I found myself making a McFlurry run almost nightly. My OB is amazing. She never once criticized me, just suggested I get out and walk or try less ice cream or whatnot. Given some of the horror stories my friends have had I'm particularly thankful that she didn't guilt me. At one point they had to send me for another ultrasound b/c I was measuring ahead. Allow me to be clear, I was measuring ahead but the baby? She was actually on the petite side.
I'm not entirely sure how much I gained. There was a number I wanted to stay below and while as far as I know I did I'm pretty sure that if they would've weighed me on the morning of Emerson's birth I would have busted that mark.
Post baby was...difficult. Among other things I struggled nursing. Aside from emotional eating, I thought I must not have been eating enough so I just ate, and ate, and ate. I ended up gaining weight before I went back to work.
Just shy of Emerson's first birthday I quick pumping and joined back with weight watchers. I have been on WW for about 14 months and lost 35 lbs when I discovered I was pregnant with number 2. I had hoped to lose all of the baby weight (I am about 10lbs away). Actually I had hoped to lose much more but Life happened.
This pregnancy I'm determined to not stress, but to not use it as an excuse either. However, if I'm being honest I'd like to continue to lose weight this first trimester when it's rather normal since I don't need any extra calories.
I weighed myself this morning and I am 4lbs heavier than 48 hours ago. This is where the problem is. The reality is it's likely water weight. I hate tortilla chips on Tuesday night and generally a lot of sodium but I freaked out silently inside. I'm not thrilled that for whatever reason I have gained, but mostly I'm unhappy with my reaction. I was upset to the extent that it was affecting my mood. It concerns me for the long haul.
When I think back to the past few days I really have not overeaten--I've continued to track with my WW app. It's likely water, but still....it's niggling in the back of my mind. All I can do is continue what I'm doing--tracking and working out. Whatever comes on I'll just have to work on getting off later.
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