We welcomed Katherine Kearney Dossett into our family on Thursday October 3, 2013 at 6:13pm. She was 8lbs and 3 oz and 22 1/4 inches long. The irony is of course that we thought Thursday was too soon.
Wednesday night I didn't feel good but frankly I thought I just had too much milk. I was in a lot of discomfort but I was also almost 10 months pregnant so I didn't think much of it. I awoke several times overnight which, even pregnant, isn't like me. I knew something was up but didn't know what.
Thursday morning there was some....action shall we say. I was going to try to go into the office to tie up some loose ends but thanks to said action I was a little nervous. Shortly before I was going to leave more stuff happened so I called the doctor. Long story short they wanted me to come in to be checked out. Being 40 mins from the hospital I wasn't about to take chances. I called Matt and he was going to meet me at the doctor. I was uncomfortable but again, no contractions so I decided to drive myself. I was also starving and I knew that if they did send me to L&D I'd better get something to eat first. I headed to McDonalds and remember it was 10:30am b/c they were still serving breakfast.
I'll never forget as I was leaving the house. I was talking to myself trying to keep calm. Everything was in my car except the camera, my make-up and the ipad. I grabbed all of that but not a change of clothes for Matt.
I really thought that the doctor would tell me I was progressing but not enough and to be on alert and then come back Friday to be rechecked. Dr. Smith saw me and she was asking me about contractions. I explained my discomfort but that I hadn't really had any "contractions" but then again I didn't really know what they felt like since I never really had them with Emerson wo an Epidural. I remember her stating that it was obvious I was uncomfortable and she thought I was probably having some and just not realizing. I had been 2 cm Monday and when Dr. Smith checked me I was 4. So I asked "what's the plan?" expecting to be sent home. Her response was "well you're going to go over to the hospital and have a baby"....WHAA?
Fast forward I was checked in and avoided the triage thanks to Dr. Smith. She came over for a procedure and at 12:30pm broke my water. There was some mecconium in my fluid but they weren't very worried. Apparently it was seriously diluted. None the less they warned me that they would have NICU in the room just to check her out. Frankly I wasn't that worried about it, I knew I was in really good hands.
The epidural sucked, but I survived. Most of it was in my mind though I will say that that anesthesiologist is ROUGH. I had two bolus' of more meds. At one point the nurse came in to check me --Dr. Smith had called to say that if I hadn't progressed she wanted me on pitocin and surprise surprise, I was at 9.
I was able to hold out until Dr. Smith finished up with her last patient of the day. I will say it was absolutely polar opposite of my experience with Emerson. With Em I had to push and didn't wait for the doctor. With KK they had me try to push just to see but I was in no way feeling urgent.
Long story short, when her head started to emerge we found that her cord was wrapped around her neck twice and over her shoulder. Her face was blue. Dr. Smith asked if I could push again--I told her to tell me what to do and I'd do it. Apparently the cord was so tight they couldn't cut it so I just had to deliver her.
They had Matt cut the cord very quickly and then she was whisked over to the warmer with NICU. They had her there for 20 min. Turns out that she didn't cry but mostly b/c she was just hanging out. Finally the NICU team left very anticlimactically. All was well.
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| 2 days postpartum |
Though I didn't take a photo Monday the one above is from Sat, 2 days postpartum. We still don't know what we're calling her for sure. Emerson has been amazing. Kate is amazing. Matt is amazing.
Me? Well not so much.
Somehow I naively thought that I'd miss the whole baby blues thing. Don't ask me why....I guess b/c I was on meds from Emerson, or that I knew what to expect....but sure enough they hit. I called the doctor pretty quickly thereafter--I didn't want to mess around. I've been feeling better day by day but I'm trying, TRYING, not to feel like I have to rush anything.
But my girls? Oh my girls how I love them. And my amazing husband. So while I sort through all this shit I'm reminded how fortunate I am with these three wonderful beings. Here's to holding on.
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