I'll be honest, I'm pretty damned proud of myself. I get up early and (with the exception of 2 days) have done the workout early. I've yet to miss one, even when my back was wonky after a day of shoveling. I've been pushing myself and generally just not giving up on me. Today I was running behind and had to skip the bonus exercise and cool down but that's the only time I've quit early.
And yet, my food hasn't been on point. Unless that "point" you're looking for is the bottom of the peanut butter jar. I weighed in today. I'm UP. UP! I mean, I haven't eaten great but I've sweated my ass off. Up 1.9lbs. So frustrating.
It doesn't help that things at home have been tense. Matt finally got a little information about the re compete but none of it was good. 8 years of his life devoted to this project and it's turning out like this, all because someone wants to be selfish. I'll admit too, I screwed up. I began brainstorming a spring break vacation and hadn't gotten to talk to Matt about it yet but had found the time to discuss with my MIL. She knew enough to keep her mouth zipped. My other in-laws, not so much. Despite me saying explicitly that I hadn't gotten to discuss with Matt yet they still mentioned it to him. Ironically, I had planned to *finally* let him in on my thoughts last night. I know it's my own fault, and yet I'm so utterly pissed and my in laws too. But, I still need to own it.
Some days, most days, it feels like no matter what I do it's the wrong thing. I say the wrong things, I do the wrong things, I eat the wrong things. At least with the workouts I'm actively doing something positive rather than passively hoping I'm getting something right.
I have 4 more days of 21 day fix. I think I'll take a week "off" and try some other workouts like the Country Line Dancing one or Piyo and then do another round of 21 Day Fix after. All I know is, I'm sticking around.
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