39 Weeks and lots of photos

39 weeks and lookin' pretty good if I do say so

I mean seriously, this kid.  So much cuteness!  I can hardly believe I'm at 39 weeks.  I'm been through like every season this pregnancy--found out in winter and then delivering in the fall.  I swear it makes me feel like I've been pregnant forever.  Given that this *might* be my last pregnancy I'm trying to take in everything but honestly, my favorite part is my body.  I know that sounds so odd but as someone who was always self conscious of her figure to have one I want to flaunt is so liberating and always my favorite part.  I don't even mind the stretchmarks!  That said, I actually don't have any new ones.

We'll find out tomorrow where we stand on everything.  Matt's still keen on getting induced Friday the 4th if I'm ready physically.  Honestly, after today I think I am.  I pushed myself way too hard and ended up feeling like crap and then having contractions bad enough to time.  I freaked out, called Matt and had to leave a voice mail which he never got.  I swear these damn phones.  He only knew something was up when I messaged him to disregard they had stopped.  None the less the whole thing made me feel seriously powerless.   I know it's not the end of the world to find out you aren't really in labor but I also feel like it's such a long drive and then to have to inconvenience friends.....anyway it's just the stuff I worry about.  Though this is my second my awesome OB knew I'd go fast with Emerson so she ordered the epidural very early on.  Though I was crazy uncomfortable b/c of how fast she came I never really did understand what an honest to goodness contraction was.

I'll likely try to update tomorrow after the doctor with weight etc.  For now I've decided to put myself on what I call "modified couch rest".  In other words, my happy butt is sitting on the couch, monitoring emails and generally taking it EASY (which you know I'll wish I did a lot more of in a few days!)

38 Weeks

38 weeks

Sweet fancy moses I look HUGE.  Of the three photos I'm smiling the least in this but the other two were just---wow :)  I've only gained 27lbs which I'm ok wtih but it's just surprising to me how much more pregnant I suddenly look.

Today wasn't a great day.  I mean, it wasn't horrible but ....bleh. The baby is still pretty high up and so there's not much to tell there.  We aren't even going to talk about induction until we see what next week brings but at that point if I'm not REALLY ready to go physically then I think we'll just wait until after the due date.  Probably 10/9 or 10/10.

The good news is that all is well.  That's what is important and that is what we'll concentrate on.  For tonight though I'm going to give myself a little room for a pity part just b/c.  Then tomorrow no more.  We are blessed with a healthy baby who is happy where she is.  Besides, she has to come out eventually :)

Full Term

37 Weeks

Full Term Baby!  Today I had my 37 week check up.  Dr. W. did an ultrasound just to be sure baby's head is down.  While she was at it I asked her to confirm that she is in fact a she :)  Good news is that baby's head is down and she is, in fact, a girl.  I'm not really dilated or anything but that's ok.  As we were leaving today Matt looked at me and brought up the idea again of induction on October 3 or 4. 

Assuming I make it that far I don't know that I'm opposed to it anymore.  While personally I'm not really pro early induction just for the sake of it I do get it.  At that point it wouldn't really even be early--it would be the Thursday or Friday before I'm technically due (and I'm still not sure that that's the right due date).  Mostly I just want to make sure that we're all ok.  What I don't want is to have this kid on the toll road or something.  And let's face it the chances of us having the "honey it's time" moment is slim to none.  Most likely it's more like "huh, what's that feeling?  Is that gas or something more?"  That's ok with me.  I don't want to feel pressured over some schedule though.

So for now we'll hold tight and then talk to Dr. W. on Monday.  She's told me she would induce up to a week early so I'm sure she'll pretty well go with whatever we'd like but certainly want and need her input. 

Meanwhile in the waiting room another patient asked me how far along I am and so I told her 37 weeks. She sort of looked at me with big eyes adn asked "just one??!!" and when I said yes she was all "OMG you're so big!!"  I certainly don't take offense to that--I love my big belly--but I thought it was funny since I don't feel that big. 

I also confirmed that a lot of my aches and pains are totally normal and should be expecting more.  That may sound odd but my pregnancy with Emerson was so easy I get paranoid now.  For better or worse, the round ligament pain not only is normal but it's normal for it to be at it's worst now.  AND only getting worse.  It's oddly comforting.

I am trying to enjoy these last few weeks but it's such a double edged sword.  I love being pregnant but I'm also so excited to meet this little girl and so sore and uncomfortable.  None the less, I keep thinking that this is likely my last pregnancy so I want to and should enjoy it as much as humanly possible.

36 weeks....the 9th month

So I missed 35 weeks--it was Labor day and it just got away from us.  And Yes, I totally just posted a photo of my bare belly.  Judge if you must. 

I had my 36 week appointment today and it went well.  Honestly my back was hurting me so badly that I was concerned going to have to call Matt to meet me at the hospital b/c they were going to send it over.  The doctor checked me out and there's not much she was able to say.  The good news is I found out if I need to be induced she will just break my water and see if that makes me go into labor.  Obviously they will use pitocin if need be but I like that I wouldn't have to have it right off which makes me happy.  Still nervous that I'll end up having the baby in the car or I wouldn't know or whatever but as Dr. Wolf says it'll all work out in the end. 

Generally I'm feeling large.  I swear my feet are widening.  My back's been bugging me a lot today and I'm wondering if she dropped.  She's also pushing a lot more and it's actually hurting b/c there's just no room left.  I'm trying to enjoy the last few weeks. It may or may not be my last pregnancy so while I'm uncomfortable and really excited to meet her, I'm also trying to just live in the moment.  All in due time :)

33 and 34

This is going to be short and sweet....at least for now.  We spent last week at the beach and this week I'm spending playing catch-up :)  Life is good, baby is good, Emerson is wearing underwear for the first time today Lord hep us all :)

33 weeks at the beach

34 Weeks

34 weeks with my big girl

Swimsuits for the win

I'm still not sure what happened.  I don't ever remember being anything but self conscious about my body.  Perhaps it's because I'm pregnant and it's OK to have a belly but even before that I've felt....different since having Emerson.  

I look at what my body has done.  Not just having a child (and now another) but in finally training for and running a 5k.  I recognize it's not a big deal to some, but to me it is.  To me it reminds me of all my body is capable of and makes me wonder what more I can do.  And so yea....I'm putting swimsuit photos of ME in a BATHING SUIT up ONLINE!  Please excuse the cleavage....the girls sorta have a mind of their own.

T-minus 8 Weeks...and cue freakout in 5...4...3...2...

32 weeks

Don't I just look Joy-filled?  Do you LOVE the water stains on my shirt from Emerson's tub?  Do you see how I'm kinda leaning funny?  That would be due to the fact I feel like my child has cracked my pelvis.  HOORAY for Pregnancy!

Ok, now that THAT pity party is over.  Truth is this time around is hard and I've had more than one tearful evening.  I'm torn b/c this is likely it for me, so I want to enjoy this pregnancy but at the same time I am so darn uncomfortable.  The evenings are the worst.  I think it has to do with being tired but also from sitting.  I find if I sit too long when I get up I hurt a lot.  I think she must be laying on a nerve or something.  On one hand I despise complaining when all too soon this will be over.  On the other I'll admit, I am glad that I'm finally "in the club" as it were  More than that though with Emerson I was loving being pregnant so much I never wanted it to end.  That was troublesome.  I remember telling my doctor I WANTED to get uncomfortable or I'd be afraid how I would handle it. 

Despite being uncomfortable, I'm doing well  I love showing off the bump.  That has to be the best thing about being pregnant--I fully am embracing my body.  It's freakin' awesome.  I took some photos (just for you Pieper!) of me in a swimsuit too that I'm going to post.  I mean, it's amazing how confident I feel in a pregnant body (so long as the girls stay put...that's my latest challenge :))

I'll also admit that I'm not nearly as nervous about the whole "will I love this one as much" thing as I was pre pregnancy.  I know it will come in time.  Mostly I just hope it doesn't take as long as with Emerson--I had some real life struggles there.  I wonder if perhaps b/c I lived through that and know how much I adore that child now that I'm not as worried.  Who knows.

Now we're just dealing with maternity leave (which sucks in the US) and which is non existant in my company.  The bonus is that b/c of when she's due I get holidays.  The crap part is I'll still have to go back earlier than expected, however the "go back" is working from home, getting ramped up and only for a week before Christmas break so I can't complain too much. 

Also new this time I have no real idea of when everyone is coming up--and I'm intentionally not worrying about it :)  I'm really trying to focus on making this our time.  Part of me is glad we went to GA for Christmas when Emerson was born to get me out, but mostly I'm kicking myself for not just staying home without a bunch of people and taking care of us.  There were so many times that I should've just said no or stopped what we were doing to pump or whatever but I was afraid of sitting quietly.  It's a double edged sword.  So this time I'm going to try it, hope I don't go nuts and throw caution to the wind :)  Imagine, me taking care of myself....I guess there's a first time for everything!