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| 32 weeks |
Don't I just look Joy-filled? Do you LOVE the water stains on my shirt from Emerson's tub? Do you see how I'm kinda leaning funny? That would be due to the fact I feel like my child has cracked my pelvis. HOORAY for Pregnancy!
Ok, now that THAT pity party is over. Truth is this time around is hard and I've had more than one tearful evening. I'm torn b/c this is likely it for me, so I want to enjoy this pregnancy but at the same time I am so darn uncomfortable. The evenings are the worst. I think it has to do with being tired but also from sitting. I find if I sit too long when I get up I hurt a lot. I think she must be laying on a nerve or something. On one hand I despise complaining when all too soon this will be over. On the other I'll admit, I am glad that I'm finally "in the club" as it were More than that though with Emerson I was loving being pregnant so much I never wanted it to end. That was troublesome. I remember telling my doctor I WANTED to get uncomfortable or I'd be afraid how I would handle it.
Despite being uncomfortable, I'm doing well I love showing off the bump. That has to be the best thing about being pregnant--I fully am embracing my body. It's freakin' awesome. I took some photos (just for you Pieper!) of me in a swimsuit too that I'm going to post. I mean, it's amazing how confident I feel in a pregnant body (so long as the girls stay put...that's my latest challenge :))
I'll also admit that I'm not nearly as nervous about the whole "will I love this one as much" thing as I was pre pregnancy. I know it will come in time. Mostly I just hope it doesn't take as long as with Emerson--I had some real life struggles there. I wonder if perhaps b/c I lived through that and know how much I adore that child now that I'm not as worried. Who knows.
Now we're just dealing with maternity leave (which sucks in the US) and which is non existant in my company. The bonus is that b/c of when she's due I get holidays. The crap part is I'll still have to go back earlier than expected, however the "go back" is working from home, getting ramped up and only for a week before Christmas break so I can't complain too much.
Also new this time I have no real idea of when everyone is coming up--and I'm intentionally not worrying about it :) I'm really trying to focus on making this our time. Part of me is glad we went to GA for Christmas when Emerson was born to get me out, but mostly I'm kicking myself for not just staying home without a bunch of people and taking care of us. There were so many times that I should've just said no or stopped what we were doing to pump or whatever but I was afraid of sitting quietly. It's a double edged sword. So this time I'm going to try it, hope I don't go nuts and throw caution to the wind :) Imagine, me taking care of myself....I guess there's a first time for everything!
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