21 Weeks AKA my pregnancy caught up with my skin






21 weeks 1 day

 

Much cuter view


This pregnancy has finally caught up with my skin.  I looked super cute on Monday (21 weeks) but alas forgot to take a photo.  Yesterday pretty much sucked and I look hagard so I had to include a shot of my cutie. 

All is going well.  Names are still being tossed around quite a bit but no real luck yet.  Baby is moving and a shakin' which is a lot of fun since I don't ever remember Emerson moving this much.

Speaking of, Em is in her big girl room.  She loves it  adn we're so glad.

I'm in maternity clothes but they are still too big.  That's ok, better than the alternative. 

PINK!!

We had our 20 week sonogram yesterday and we are thrilled to say that we're having another baby girl!! YAY sweet sisters!  I always wanted a sister and though I'm sure there will be plenty of bickering through the years I'm so glad they'll have eachother too.

More than that everything looks fantastic!  The second time around I feel like I know of a lot more things that could potentially go wrong so I was more nervous going into this one.  Thank the Lord we're all good. 

Now, onto the decorating!!

20 Weeks-Half Baked!

Me and my girl

20weeks...half baked.  Idon't feel like this particular photo does justice to my belleh.  Just two short weeks ago I didn't look a bit pregnant.  Bloated maybe but pregnant?  No.  And now?  Yowsers!  I realized today that I can't button my pants.  I had been using a belly band for comfort but even if I wanted to those things weren't closing.  And I freaked out just a bit.  These were my pants that fit me (not a size too big) just a week ago.  Now when my pants that were too big don't fit?  Yea then I"ll probably really freak.  Why freak?  I dunno....but there's just something so real about it.

At 20 weeks I'm in maternity clothes (obviously) and probably need to suck it up and just wear maternity pants and not just a belly band.  As my boss made mention I'm tired but it's more from running after Emerson and being pregnant than the first trimester exhaustion.  Baby has been moving and I'm 99% sure kicking a bit too.  In fact the other day sitting at my desk and I got what I thought was a kick....so I pushed back (b/c I'm an instigator) and s/he kicked and back and forth.  Pretty cool.

Speaking of s/he we had a fantastic 20 week appointment but no sneak peek which means we'll have to wait until Thursday to find out.  Neither Matt or I really care what the gender is (which is good since we have no say over it).  Part of us would like a boy for obvious reasons but I think we both would prefer a girl.  We love the dynamic of our family with a little girl and I love the idea of sisters.  Of course this is the polar opposite of how I felt when I first found out Emerson was a girl.  I mean....mother daughter dyanmics, those three words will put the fear in any woman.  Now we adore it (ask me again when she's a pre teen).  Plus boys smell :)

I don't feel as energetic as I did with Emerson.  I'm not sure if it's the idea of being pregnant with a toddler or if this pregnancy is just harder on me.  Time will tell. 

Meanwhile we're getting ready to move Emerson into her big girl room.  Scares the pee out of me.  The good thing about never decorating Emerson's room is that 100% of everything BEHIND doors is moved.  In other words, everything looks just as it did until you open the closet or drawers.  Then you realize that it's all different.  For now though Emerson has no sense it's different which is great.  That is until Friday when we take the plunge.  At least we'll have an extra weekend day......

Because I may be a little nuts

As I wrote about before, we're headed to the beach in August at which point I'll be just over 8 mos pregnant.  Given how much I popped this week I have concerns that one of my suites (which would fit theoretically now only b/c it's about 2 sizes too big)  won't cut it.....or will litterally cut it with the "IT" being my circulation.  I do have one maternity swimsuit but frankly there's not a whole hell of a lot else out there right now.  
Then last week Matt mentioned I should rock a two piece.  I scoffed at him and reminded him that aside from the baby belly there would be that pesky present layer of fat.  However the past few days I've been giving the idea a considerable amount of thought and then this morning I saw myself in the mirror....and I thought "why the hell not".  I recently read an article about instilling confidence in daughters and the real theme behind it wasn't all of those words of affirmation that are so strong but showing our daughters by example--climbing tress and jumping in the swimming pool and generally rocking out life.  Then I found this little number.   

Here's the thing, I know I'm no supermodel.  Would I like to be in better shape?  Sure.  But am I going to let that stop me from enjoying myself?  Hell no.  I want my daughter to see me live.  I want her to see me enjoy myself and love my body because it gives so much.  It carries me daily, it's seen me through one pregnancy and now another.  It's run a 5k.  I'm young(ish) and healthy and I'll be damned if I'm going to wear a mumu all summer.

Week 19

The photo below was taken 18w1d.  This photo was from 18 weeks

Here's the thing with me...I always have carried my weight in the middle so you can't really tell too much with a lot of the clothes I wear.  However, please see exhibit B, 19 weeks

Sweet Juniper THAT happened sometime in the past week.  If I'm being honest I still sort of feel like it's just fat....I mean I swear I look like I looked back when I was closer to 24 weeks with Emerson and I'm only at 19.  Technically I know you pop earlier but still, it just feels like a farce.

Also in the past week or so I feel less movement.  However I realized tonight while walking the dog that the movement I feel is higher, and given the fact that I seem to have grown so much I can only assume that this kiddo has shifted upwards to wehre there is more room.

So, at 19 weeks....I'm still able to wear my old pants but only if I don't value circulation to my lower half.  I've started wearing my belly band which has been a huge relief.  I can still wear some pants (I think) but those are the ones that were too big to start with.  Some of my tops (like the one above) are fine but anything more fitted is a no go. 

My appetite is back but mostly only for lunch and I still have food aversions.  Right now I don't think I have gained more than 2 lbs from my lowest weight, and I"m still a solid 5-10 under what I was when I got pregnant.  We have an OB appt on Wed and then we'll have my 20 week on May 23rd.  Last time my dr took a sneak peak and was right with Emerson so hopefully she'll do the same.  While I truly don't care either way on gender I am curious.  Moreover I think I need to know to help with the bonding.  Either way soon enough we'll know.

Poppin'

I gave up this morning and pulled out the belly band. Oohhh the relief!  Then I looked in the mirror. When did THAT happen?!  18w1d

Traditions!

I have the best husband, I really really do.  I give him lots of grief but he's fantastic.  Let me back up though...

Matt and I booked our first family beach vacation yesterday and we could not be more thrilled.  It's actually kind of odd really it feels so grown up.  I was thinking about it all last night and came to realize that it's kind of like the holidays.  For years you spend holidays (specifically Christmas and Thanksgiving as the biggies) with family.  You find yourself getting older but still "going home" for these events.  Then on day you are driving down the interstate with your husband, baby and dog in tow on the way to Grandma's house and you think "wait a minute, I have a home and it's not on I-95".  HA!  Obviously I get it, it's great to spend the holidays together and frankly it's hard to get to that next level.  But one day you do realize that you have a family of your own and you need to start your own traditions so you have that sort of awkward conversation with everyone letting them know that this is the last year you're traveling on the holiday but they are welcome to come see you.  Thankfully for Matt and I our families totally got it.  Conveniently  we got a bigger place too that can hold guests :)

I've come to realize that family vacations are much the same way.  Don't get me wrong, it can be great.  In the past we've had the opportunity to stay with Matt's family at their condo and do things we wouldn't otherwise have done like going out on Papaws boat.  Plus it's great to see family and have everyone get to enjoy the grandkids and vice versa.  Here's the thing though...as awesome as that is, Matt and I realized we were really excited at the prospect of starting our own family vacation traditions.  We've been very blessed that both he and I have some seriously amazing memories of going to the beach as kids and we want to do the same with our little family.  That is one thing I adore about Matt--he loves the idea of creating our own family traditions.  The catch is of course that you need to let them happen naturally which means you need to be in a place where you can go with the flow.

This year we were supposed to go with my parents to my Uncle's place in OBX and then start the new tradition next summer.  When the plans for that trip fell through Matt and I decided to go forward with our own little vacation.  I'll be honest, I didn't really know if it would happen--I mean, so adult! :)  First we had to decide on where to go.  For me I love the idea of going to the outer banks and renting a beach out house on the beach.  Matt on the other hand spent his summers in Floribama (aka Gulf Shores) in a condo.  Both had their good and bad components, but Gulf Shores is way to far to drive which would mean flying and renting a car and that's too expensive.  Plus that is more Matt's history.  OBX would be great but I have my own ghosts there.....I don't think running into an ex boyfriend is exactly the kind of family vacation any of us wants.  I wanted beach front lazy days, Matt wanted a "little bit of redneck" (they don't call it the Redneck Rivera for nothing).  Given that I spent my formative beach years at the Jersey Shore I totally got that--stuff to do for the kids (and grown kids) and just a laid back atmosphere....minus the guidos.  :)  So we decided on Myrtle Beach, SC.

We'll be staying in a condo but that's ok b/c it's beach front and there are some great amenities like a pool (b/c let's face it I'm a liar if I think I'm gonna wade in that ocean all day).  Plus it has my ocean front balcony to enjoy dinners on.  It took a little more work making some phone calls to get the unit we wanted but when it was all said and done I was overcome with this sense of joy.  Our little family is going on our first family vacation together.  We'll get to start our own traditions in our own new space and it's all my husband's doing (well, his motivation anyway :))  He and I are both so jointly excited....I don't even care that I'll be a million months pregnant :)  Bring on the summer.

It's Back

My appetite that is.  17 weeks in and finally I'm finding myself ...dare I say it?  Hungry.  Granted I still have some food aversions.  Chicken?  bleh!  The smell of grilling burgers?  Barf.  And don't get me started on garlic in chicken stock.  Oh.My.Honk.  But this morning I ate a waffle with peanut butter and a few banana slices on it.  WIN!  Now I'm full which is weird for me because pre pregnancy I'd easily want two of those plus the whole banana but I'll take it.
Meanwhile, I have a pesky feeling this belly is starting to pop out a bit.  I'm still in all my normal clothes but I'm just noticing it rubbing a bit more.

I've gotten on some facebook yard sale pages for the area and they have proven worthwhile.  Yesterday i bought a Little Lamb swing that retails for at least $130 for $20.  Score.  That was one of those things I had to have this go-round.  With Em I was afraid she'd become dependent on the swing or some such bull.  The result was that we bought a small travel swing that wasn't expensive and was small enough to deal with our 800 sq feet of living space.  This time though I had my heart set on this swing, irrational or not.
Matt came home last night and set it up and then informed me it's "atrocious".  In other words, it's practical.  It's not hidden.  There's baby stuff OUT IN PUBLIX!  I love that man but we are so different in this way.  For me I know it may not be ascetically pleasing that goes along with our furniture but it keeps the baby happy = mama is happy.  I'm the one after all who is home for 3 months and gets to get up in the middle of the night for feedings.  With Emerson I can remember trying to put everything away before Matt got home from work.  For this one?  Good luck with that :)

In fairness I appreciate that man. We all have friends who have kid stuff that's taken over the house so I love that he keeps ours from getting that way.  If it were just me the house would likely get to be such a hot mess that it would stress me out worse.   Still, there's a middle ground.  I need stuff accessible and for me to not fret over it if stuff is out (or that Matt won't stress because it's out).  It's not forever but while we have an itty bitty there's just some "stuff" that comes with it.  So pass the Xanax for that poor man b/c it's about to get baby-fied up in here.