Tomorrow I have my first OB appointment. I have to admit, I'm nervous. Perhaps it's because now with some experience under my belt I know how wrong things can go, even though they didn't go wrong for me. I can't help but feeling like I've been so fortunate...too fortunate? I realize it seems silly but the fact is that two of my best girlfriends are fighting infertility. I got pregnant with Emerson on the first shot and despite a decelerated heart rate at birth had a very uneventful pregnancy.
This time it may have take us a little longer this go round but even so, it was barely anything in the grand scheme. Why is it that I'm so fortunate when my friends have been forced down a harder path?
As I ask that question I know that by implying that I've somehow "used up" my good fortune which would be the same as implying that others didn't "earn" it and that's just bullshit. Still, I'm nervous. I'll feel better when I see a flickering heartbeat on that screen tomorrow, God willing.
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