Wednesday, February 20, 2013

On Who We Haven't Told

When I was pregnant with Emerson I was a big emotional mess at first.  I was so flabergasted at the idea that I was pregnant (read freaked the eff out) that I kept tight lips.  I couldn't even tell my childhood best friend to her face I was so freaked out.  In fact, I'm pretty sure that whenever I told anyone I used the words "knocked up".  Somehow it put a larger emotional distance between me and my reality.

This go round it's still freaky but I know a little more now.  Thanks to amazing work opportunities I had to share with them immediately.  Let's face it, when you are scheduled to travel to a communist country that will require a passport, travel invitation and a Visa you don't mess around.  Add that to the fact that while I had planning on trying *not* to tell a few coworkers in the end I didn't want the rumors.  I would prefer for it just to me be being forthright.

I've had a person or two that know because of sheer excitement and frankly  one asked me to my face and I suck at lying.

But as bad as I feel that some people know before others, the fact is that most people don't know (and don't need to yet).  I adore my family but there are at least two people that Matt and I feel strongly about telling BEFORE our family knows.  It's what's right for us.  Even the timing on that one though isn't right.  Not just yet.  And so we wait, and therefore everyone else waits.

I hope if people ever see this and question why work knew first or why we chose to wait to tell others it makes sense and that there are no hard feelings.  To say that I have stressed over this is an understatement.  At the end of the day though it's our story to tell and share as we deem necessary.  But I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't feel better to share my secret with a few special folks.

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